I Just Want My Breakfast
by whitetiger91
Summary: Poor Minerva, all she wants is to have a peaceful breakfast before the students arrive for the year. Unfortunately, someone's over-inflated ego won't let her. A silly little tale written for the Potions Club on DAII.


**I Just Want My Breakfast**

 _ **A/N: This fic was written for the Diagon Alley II Potions Club. Potion: Swelling Solution. Prompts: sting, trick, stamina. Ingredients used: bat spleens, dried nettles, pufferfish eyes.**_

 _ **Erm, yeah, not my best work, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!**_

* * *

"Oh! Ohoho! Well now, I must say, that is a delight!" Horace cried, interrupting the relative silence of the Great Hall.

It was the day before the students would arrive, and Minerva was hoping to at least have one more peaceful breakfast before they did. Unfortunately, Horace seemed to have other ideas, his stomach jiggling up and down as he began to laugh and slap his knee.

"Oh yes, I was right!" he shouted.

Minerva glanced at Pomona who had opened her mouth to speak. With a raised eyebrow and a slight shake of her head, she silently warned her friend, _Don't ask._

Minerva knew that as soon as anyone did say something, Horace would launch into a never-ending story about whatever brilliant thing 'he' had achieved in the last day or so, something that he usually accomplished by doing nothing other than sitting behind his desk.

If her hunch was right, the latest achievement had something to do with the _Daily Prophet_ he was reading.

Pomona tilted her head but closed her mouth. Picking up her spoon, Pomona resumed eating her breakfast. Satisfied that the witch wasn't going to say anything else, Minerva went to do the same.

Unfortunately, she had only just picked up a slice of toast when someone nudged her in the shoulder and the toast was knocked out of her hand. Taking a deep breath, Minerva turned to Horace.

"Yes, Horace?"

"My apologies, Minnie, I'm just so excited," Horace said, beaming at her.

On her other side, Pomona gave a snort, but when Minerva glanced at her, the witch hastily went back to eating her breakfast; the only sign of amusement being a small smile on her face. Rolling her eyes, Minerva turned back to Horace and sighed.

"Alright, Horace, why are you so excited?" she asked.

"I don't suppose you have read this morning's copy of the _Daily Prophet_ , have you?" Horace said, waving his copy under her nose.

Minerva moved her head back a little and shook her head. "Not yet, Horace," she said.

"Oh, well, allow me to show you this particular article," he said, pushing away her plate and placing the newspaper in its place.

Adjusting her spectacles, Minerva stared at the page, surprised that it was open at the sports section rather than the gossip columns or news. Horace had never struck her as a wizard interested in sports, usually attending school matches only to see if Slytherin received any more house points. Most of the articles in the paper were about Quidditch, but she was saved from searching each and every piece by Horace.

"This one, right here," he said, pointing to a rather small article entitled 'Harpies Chaser Stings Wasps.'

Peering at it, Minerva read on:

' _Saturday's match in Wimbourne turned out to be a sore loss for the home team thanks to the Harpies new Captain. Gwenog Jones, Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, was promoted to Captain just last month and has already proven to be more than up for the task. With her everlasting stamina, a few tricks up her sleeve and leadership skills, Jones managed to score her team a total of sixteen goals, allowing the Harpies to win the match despite the Wasps' Snitch catch._

 _The final result: 190 to 170.'_

Blinking, Minerva looked back up at Slughorn. His cheeks were rosy as he continued to beam at her.

Winking, he nudged her elbow again and said, "So, what do you think? Impressive or what?"

"Erm, yes, very impressive I suppose," she replied.

"Ah yes! Thank you! I thought so. Of course, if I hadn't discovered her talent back in the day, we might not be reading about her now. I mean, we know she was a professional player, but look at her now! What a champion I've created!"

Minerva resisted the urge to roll her eyes again and nodded. By the way his eyes were searching the rest of the staff table for congratulations, she was surprised his head wasn't swelling to twice its size. Of course, she should've expected Horace to be so excited about something that had little to do with him, and to take all the praise. Still, she didn't dare deflate it, and giving him a quick smile, she turned back to her plate ready to enjoy her breakfast.

"Well, my colleagues, shall we got on with the day? There's lots to do before the students arrive tomorrow," Albus said from further down the table.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem Minerva would ever get to enjoy her breakfast. Standing along with the other professors, Minerva put down her toast. Beside her, Horace jumped up and adjusted his robes proudly.

"I wonder what student I'll be able to influence this year?" he said, clapping her on the back before winking at Pomona walking out of the hall.

"Well, you did ask," Pomona said with a giggle.

Staring at her plate, Minerva groaned. Yes, she did ask.


End file.
